The girl with no hands actually does have hands, it’s just – they are invisible and she only makes use of them to serve herself. No really, she can sew and play the piano – just not for you. Sometimes her lovers ask to have their egos stroked but the girl with no hands will not, and cannot indulge in such behavior.  Other times interested suitors will approach her at a bar downtown and ask for her number but the girl has no hands and so she waves them away with a toss of her nubby arm.  Does she ever wish she could feel? Of course, but sometimes it’s just easier to be felt. Once, in a meeting, a male partner tried to ask her to take notes and she just glared at him until he understood. The girl with no hands is unable to flip the bird so last week when she was cat called on the street she instead told the man to “fuck OFF” and this left the entire block silent and stunned. (She was smirking, though). Overnight, a whole class of paraphernalia becomes irrelevant: gloves, nail polish, secret handshakes, sweaty handjobs…She was the only girl in her fourth-grade class who could wear short shorts to school because technically her wrists grazed the end of her ass. Her favorite sport is American soccer and her favorite film is Cool Hand Luke. I saw her play classical piano out in Washington Square Park but the last time this happened, the New Yorkers couldn’t understand how she was making sound since her hands can’t be perceived. So, she doesn’t do that anymore. Though sometimes she will sigh when she remembers the solitary joys of combing a loved one’s hair while they watch in quiet shock. An invisible rake runs through their locks and all the while, a handless musician gently plays the world’s most tender harp using just her wrists.